Runner Fashion Fails
Recently, one of you found my blog by searching:
Hope for bleak individuals who think that a hydration belt is a legitimate fashion choice.
Um. Hi.
I don’t know about you, but as a runner, I have wretched fashion.
Chances are, if you see me, I will not only be hungry, but I will have just parsed myself together in about 10 minutes flat because my long run went longer than I thought and obviously running is more important than extended hygienic practices.
Wet hair and a growling stomach = me in a nut shell.
I used to be a bit huffy when I would go out to eat and I would see athletic types at a normal dinner in a race t-shirt. We get it, you are active.
Now, as my laundry pile contains more dry wick t-shirts than trendy tanks, I find myself rocking them around my house and quickly changing to go out. I live in a household of women who believe that it isn’t a shoe if it doesn’t have a heel, so as they dazzle the world with their sparkle, I schlep beside them in my Birkenstocks or Toms because I would rather just not sacrifice my calves because I have a long run tomorrow.
To make myself feel better that my beauty regime is 10 minutes at best, here is an unexhaustive list of runners fashion faux pas that I DON’T do…a lot.
1. SHORT runner shorts:

Source: ACE Fitness
I am sorry – they don’t make you go faster.
And while we are being catty – don’t tuck your shirt in.
Shorts over running tights.
WHY? Wear tights. Or shorts.
Running in full makeup.
Unless this is a look you are going for.
4. Compression socks and shoes outside of a run/race setting.
Source: Running Page
I don’t care what it does for your recovery, put some pants over those things!
I mean, I am guilty of rocking the look myself…
But I was obviously on an adventure. North Face coat…right?
5. Vibrams and toe socks.
Just say no
What runner fashion faux pas am I missing? And don’t say hydration packs. It is perfectly normal to walk around the mall drinking out of a tube attached to your back because like, hydration.
I think wearing your marathon medal as a necklace for 31 consecutive days post race qualifies as a faux pas, but don’t quote me on it.
Vibrams and toe socks— LMAO!!
I agree. Although I cannot say I haven’t been tempted to do that, and if I won a big race, I totally would!
Also, it is a tragedy that toe socks and vibrams have been a thing…
Wow! Thank you for the late night laugh! You had me at “schlep” and I lost it at the make-up bit. I watched the college softball championships this past spring and those girls were so glammed up (seriously, they’d had their hair and nails done) because it was televised. I will never understand…it looked so uncomfortable…and gritty. Ugh.
I will never wear Vibrams or toe shoes. No thanks, just weird to me!