Jolene
Last night, my mother gave one of her presentations of our family’s journey through anorexia to a local group of women.
This is a noteworthy event because I breezed in to watch the presentation after teaching a spin class, only to realize that the presentation was over and my mother had decided to call my sisters and I up to the front to field questions. Thanks for the heads up…
Regardless, we stood in front of the ladies and questions slowly went from being directed at us as a group to my littlest sister, Jolene.
I was so proud of her last night.
She calmly explained that the second my mother will turn her back, she will throw out the salad/sandwich she is “eating” without hesitation.
She explained that it is easier to lie to our mother about what she ate then to actually eat the food.
She shared that how she helps other girls with eating disorders is to tell them all the things that she doesn’t believe about herself: That they are beautiful, strong and worth something. That they will beat the disorder.
I told them that Jolene is the strongest person I know because she wakes up every morning and knows that she needs to face her greatest fear at least 4 times that day…and she gets up anyways.
We all calmly spoke about the tragedy that has encompassed our lives over the past decade. Because it is a reality. It is ok. We have learned that we can trust Jolene with anything and we can trust her eating disorder with nothing.
We have learned that she and her disorder, ED, we call him, are separate things. It is not her fault, we are not disappointed in her, and we have hope in her recovery.
After the session closed, Megan whispered in my ear – “Let’s grab the littlest one and go get some coffee together.”
So we went.
We left all of the heartaches that we experienced this week, this month, this decade and we hightailed it out of there together. We spent the rest of the evening in a coffee shop, laughing uproariously at the stories we had to share and the ideas we brainstormed.
This is why I have hope.
Your family’s support and perspective is amazing! That MV is hard to live with, much less talk about with or share with strangers. Most folks don’t have any idea what it’s like. I so thankful for families, like yours, who are brave enough to share their stories to raise awareness and support!!! I love that you make it clear that you love her, it’s not her fault, you are not disappointed in her and all have hope for her recovery.
Have you seen any of the things I’ve written in the past 3 weeks about my strange trip to a new chiropractor that resulted in the instant and absolute silencing of all things disordered. It’s not flawless, I see her twice a week. Sometimes that’s not enough and I end up hanging out with MV for a little bit. Overall, it’s been life altering.
Wow! NO – I haven’t seen that. I will take a look. Thank you so much for the heads up. Also, I am so glad that things are going well for you. 🙂
https://teenieyogini.wordpress.com/2013/03/31/i-met-a-girl-named-teenie-yogini-shes-pretty-cool/
We talked about it for a while yesterday. She said she had never done that before, and that only a few chiros work on the upper cervical spine, it’s the most gentle adjustment I’ve ever had, no twisting or popping or that crazy hold the head jerk the neck thing that is terrifying.
There was a doctor in Idaho who had been traveling and lecturing on upper cervical chiropractic for the treatment of eating disorders from 2008-2010… But she just kind if vanished after that. Other than that, we haven’t found any real scientific support or reliable case studies.
The strength and courage displayed by each of your family, and especially Jolene, is nothing short of inspiring. Glad the 3 of you could escape together…that time is priceless.
Jolene is such a little trouper. And as you well know – time with siblings is so important to feel complete.
Your family just warms my heart. You are all so loving and supportive of each other. I know Jolene will get better someday (and hopefully soon), and she is so blessed to have all of you rooting for her every step of the way. Time spent laughing with your sisters is good for the soul, glad you three had a wonderful night after sharing so much.
xo